DJ's Horse And Cow Pages

Home | Your Horse Escaping | Your Horses Annoying and Embarrassing Behavior | Your Horses Barn Manners Turnout | Your Horse's Bath Time | The Horse's Handbook | Horse Training: Jumping | Horse Training: Longeing | Horse Training: Trails | Horse Training: Unscheduled Dismounts | Famous Cows | Cow Humor | Cow Psychology | Cow News | Cow Facts | All I Need To Know About Life, I Learned From A Cow!! | You Might Be A Dairy Farmer... | 10 Reasons Santa could have been a farmer! | Cow Quiz | Interesting Horse Facts | Horse Dictionary | Your Horse Hampering | Your Horse's Attitude | Your Horse On The Road And Shows | Your Horse And Other Critters | Your Horse And Playing | Horse Jokes | You Know Your A Real Horse Person When... | What Horse People Say, and What They Mean | Murphy's Horse Law | Blank page | The Horse's Handbook | Horse Rider's Signs

Your Horse And Other Critters

Other Critters: Cats

I am very sorry that I amputated the cat's tail. I will never do that again to any animal. That cat runs every time she sees me now.

I promise not to scare my kitty when she goes to sleep in my hay by getting up close and personal and then snorting REALLY loudly at her.

I promise to stop goosing the barn cats. Even if it is fun to watch them startle and then glare at me.

I understand the barn cats don't belong to just me, my rider can pet them too.

I will not act cute and interested in snuffling the kitten, and when my human is nice enough to let me sniff said kitten, try to eat it. Kittens have claws and are not interested in becoming my dinner.

I will not attempt to flatten the cat.

I will not blow my nose in the barn cat's fur.

I will not chase the cats up a tree and not let them down.

I will not eat the barn cats even though they deserve it because they keep me up all night meowing.

I will not groom the cats. They don't like it, and I hate hairballs.

I will not show my affection for "Black Cat" by smooshing his nice, soft body up against the wall with my head, then rubbing vigorously on him. Black Cat does not like that, no matter how good it feels to me.

I will not stomp my hooves on small kittens, just because I they are under me, and promise not to cause my human's friend to have to give mouth to mouth respiration to the kitten to revive it.

I will not turn and flee when the camp director's 6 month old female Siamese kitten comes prancing into the arena. Just because she likes to torment the humans does not mean she's out to get me. Besides, I'm not tall enough to jump the fences.

I won't play "bounce the kitten from stall to stall" with the colt in the stall next to me. I am lucky the kitten wasn't at all hurt because I would be in BIG trouble.

If a stray kitty has a litter in my stall, I'll let the people know, not wait till they muck my stall to find mom cat and 7 kittens. If they do, I will not throw a fit because they move the kitties inside because it's December or August .

I will act like the good horse I am when they move the kitties inside, and I will not get so upset that my people have to give me some stuffed kitties. I will then not destroy the stuffed kitties because they aren't the same.

If "Big Mama" cat decides to have her latest litter of kittens in my stall, she can do it herself; I am not required to neigh LOUDLY all night for help; I should just watch the Miracle of Birth and them leave her alone.

The cat does not appreciate it when I try to scratch his belly with my nose.

Other Critters: Chickens and other birds

Chickens are not for chasing.

Chickens are not toys. I must refrain from catching them by the legs and tossing them over the fence

Geese do not enjoy having their plumage plucked.

I do not need to levitate when the peacock shows me his fancy feathers.

I have no right to chase the turkeys, chickens and other fowl out of the stall and covered area, just because I want in. There is plenty of room for all of us.

I will not let birds sit on me and pluck out the stuffing in my blanket and use it to make nests.

I will NOT chase the chickens. I will get pecked!

I will not try to kill ducks, chickens, and turkeys.

I will not walk close enough to the geese that they can grab my human's pants leg while she's leading me without a lead.

I will respect the chickens' space: I will not walk through their fence as if it wasn't there and eat their food.

There is no reason to be jealous of the human's cat when he interrupts my free longe. Furthermore, it is not necessary to chase him away with my teeth bared.

Other Critters: Cows

I will *not* let the calf chew on my tail. Or my mane. Or my forelock. Or other parts of my body

I will not stick my tail through the gate to the barn and let the calf chew it.

If I persist in letting the calf chew on me, I will be forced to wear my tail in the ugly tail braid that my human does so the calf can't get at it. And if I still let Roscoe chew on me, I'll have to suffer during fly season because it's **My Own Darn Fault** and I should know better

Other Critters: Dogs

Even though I don't like dogs, I will refrain from committing serial Canine Murders, and causing two more to narrowly cling to their lives. My human is getting tired of carrying unconscious or deceased dogs to the doors of their irresponsible owners and explaining that what she had been warning them about has now happened.

I am not a puppy and the puppy is not a foal. I know the difference and know that when the puppy trots or canters across my paddock she does not want me to play with her. I am too big to do so, and this scares the puppy.

I can ride without my dog near me!! I can, I can, I can, I can!

I promise not to pick up my human's Pug dog by her curly tail.

I understand that when I chase the dog he will either run under the fence or chase back. I do not need to follow him under the fence, or get mad and stomp him if he chases back. I realize I always start it, so I can't get mad.

I will not encourage any of the dogs to roll in the mud in my area. When I do, and my human hoses them off in my area, I will refrain from sticking my face in the hose spray, since I hate being sprayed with the hose.

I will not kick my human's Jack Russell terrier in the head, even though he bites my tail and swings on it while growling like he's rabid.

I will not let that bad doggie hang off my vet-wrapped tail anymore.

I will not stand on the dog.

I will not stomp the dog when he comes out to say hello.

I will not try to eat my human's little fuzzy growling thing she calls a "dog".

I won't tease the dogs anymore, causing them to bark in the wee hours of the morning.

The "Hounds from Hades" are annoying, but they can not get into my field, so I will refrain from bolting away every time I see them. Once I realize that they are securely fenced in, I will refrain from teasing them. This makes them furious, and causes them to alert the whole neighborhood to their presence. This is even less good at two a.m.

The Blue Heeler is a DOG not a COW. We will stop chasing him. (unless my humans tells us to) its his job to chase us.

The dog is not a cow, sheep or goat. Therefore, I must not practice my cutting and penning moves on him.

The dog is not a jolly ball.

The Jack Russell (a small terrier) is not out to kill me. There is no reason to kick at her, bite her, or run away when she follows me.

Those little "dustmop dogs" that the other humans bring into the stable are not synonymous with "demons from Hell" (Even if they are annoying, yappy little mutts). Therefore, I do not need to streak out of the barn, leaving my human in the dust, when one of them barks at me.

Other Critters: Goats

I will make friends with the goat. But only if he stops hiding behind the tree while I am working and She stops feeding him my treats in front of me.

I will not chew on the goat's horns unless the goat asks me to.

I will not pick up the littlest goat by her hair and fling her across the pasture when she tries to eat my hay outside, especially since I let her eat my hay all the other times.

I will not torture the goat, even if he is an evil creature and really deserves it.

Thank you for stopping by!