Although I am capable of jumping any fence in existence, I really shouldn't because I am
not yet two years old and that could really hurt me. While my human is thrilled with having such an incredible jumper prospect
in her pasture, it would be nice if I'd stay there.
Although I love dogs, when I am jumping a fence and one runs by, I will pay attention to
the fence and not the dog.
Bucking out of sheer happiness upon landing from a small jump is not an acceptable way to
express gratitude to my jump-shy rider who *finally* let me jump something, at the end of a normal ride in a dressage saddle.
I am a green horse, thus when jumping fences erratically I should be predictable and jump
the first one too big. It is unfair for me to jump the first two 6 in jumps in a combination perfectly and jump the third
6 inch jump like it was 3 feet. It is no different than the first two.
I am a Mustang, not a Lipazzaner. I will leave the leaping straight into the air with my
head snapped back to Ophelia. She is more suited for this job.
I am far from a racehorse when mama says "Slow-Down" I will.
I am not a jumper, and the arena fence is not an obstacle to be ignored. (She tried to jump
it too close to the fence--one rail down and an annoyed barn owner!)
I can jump over a foot in height, I can I can I can.
I can jump the fence, I can jump the fence, I can jump the fence.
I can't change my mind about jumping up a 3 foot bank a millisecond before the jump as it
makes me fall up the bank.
I do not need to jump the whole water complex....it will not hurt me to get my feet wet
I promise that I'll try to remember that I'm a dressage horse, not a jumper.
I will learn the word WHOA.
I will learn to judge my stopping distances, so I don't cover everyone in mud.
I will not be polite and stop before the jump and let my rider go flying over first. I will
be polite at all other times though.
I will not buck right before the jump so that I almost fall over and don't have to jump
I will not canter in place and hop up and down when other horses go in front of me, especially
I will not decide not to jump the jump a centimeter before the jump.
I will not gallop like a racehorse to a cross rail just to see how good my human is at steeple-chasing.
I will not go flying over any jump that is not made of poles; I can jump like a sane horse.
I will not jump a fence without my human friend (especially when there is a huge mud puddle
one the other side).
I will not jump the fence just to prove I can. If I do, I will proceed to jump right back
over and, having proven my point, desist! My human hates having to build that fence higher because I won't stay put. (He spent
an entire afternoon amusing himself by jumping various sections of four and half foot fencing, trotting around to another
side, and jumping back in.)
I will not jump over a 4 foot stall door from a standing start while I am half-sedated,
have stitches AND a chipped bone in my knee, and am wearing a bandage approximately the size and thickness of a comforter.
My human gets upset when I am running down the driveway towards the road with blood flying everywhere. I will not eat the
entire bandage the next day.
I will not leap over large non-existent obstacles when the whim strikes.
I will not look at the foot high bounce fences as if they would jump out and bite me and
stop in mid-canter only to throw off my rider onto the fence.
I will not refuse to walk over a pole just because the beginner does not know how to make
me and I am dishonest.
I will not take off for a jump ten feet away losing my rider halfway through.
I will not take the bit and ignore my riders command to WHOA..
I will remember that when Heather pulls back on the reins and says "whoa," I can stop.
I will remember that, although I can very easily jump any fence, my human cannot build it
any higher than six feet. That is not meant as a challenge to me.
I will slow down in between jumps.
I will stand still when I am told to.
I will stop jumping 4 foot fences on my own when I think my human isn't looking and then
refusing to do so when she asks me to.
I will try to actually jump the jumps, instead of walking right through them and destroying
If I have to jump water it won't be the little itty bitty puddle (big streams are ok to
Jumping barbed wire fences is a bad idea.
Just because I like to go flying over jumps by myself doesn't mean my human does too.
My human doesn't set the jumps higher than 3 feet. I do not have to jump them any higher.
I also do not need to gather my speed to clear that cross rail.
Pulling on the reins means stop. Pulley rein means stop NOW.
Trotting poles are for trotting not jumping.
"Walk though the puddle" does not mean "Jump over the puddle with a little girl riding behind
my saddle squeezing the life out of my human."
When approaching a stream, if I am going to jump said stream it is not nice to pretend that
I am going to walk through it, and when my human sits back, to bunny hop the stream. This only results in my human hitting
me in the mouth with the bit and worrying that she is ruining my training.
When crossing a teeny-tiny stream I will not rear straight up, then proceed to jump it.
When recrossing it I will not jump it with all four feet at least four feet off the ground. I will not land in a tree. I will
not do it again when my human's friends have their camera out and are yelling "Do it again!" I am not a Lippizan, I am a 14.3
hand Quarter Horse.
When I am doing jumping courses, it is possible for me to canter (that is the speed between
trot and gallop)