If you know the price of milk per hundred weight but not by the gallon.

If the medicine cabinet contains a container of Bag Balm.

If you've ever gotten an award for fat (and were proud of it).

If your idea of a power lunch is a sandwich on a tractor.

If your idea of a neighborhood watch is someone calling you to let you know

your heifers are out.

If you have more than a dozen cats.

If your idea of overnite delivery is pulling a calf at three in the morning.

If you can remember the name of every cow on your farm but the names of

your children elude you.

If manure is a dinner table topic.