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Your Horse's Attitude

Biting my human will get me scolded. Squealing and pinning my ears when she scolds me will get me smacked. Attempting to kick when I get smacked will cause her to get eyeball to eyeball with me, ask me if I REALLY want to kick (I don't) and then make me run in circles. I should know this by now. (You'd think she'd figure out that her attitude only makes it worse?)

Biting is unacceptable. When the arm I'm reaching for can fit in my mouth, a bite can be extremely dangerous.

Even though I'm just a baby, I won't act any more childish than necessary when human tries to teach me something.

I am not a B1 bomber, and should not do fly-bys and bombing exercise when my human is on Ellie.

I am not a Shin'a'in Battlesteed.

I have not been possessed by the devil, no matter what it seems like.

I will never again decide to buck my human off rodeo style, just because she went to Ohio for a few weeks for the holidays.

I will not act like an idiot every time we arrive at the show grounds.

I will not cross-canter all the way home just because I'm mad at my human.

I will not get cranky just because we don't go home when I'm ready.

I will not grind my teeth when my slave is annoying me.

I will not have an attitude problem. I won't I won't I won't.

I will not ignore my human when she tells me to pay attention to her.

I will not make horrible faces at my human when he doesn't pay me the attention I deserve 100% of the time.

I will not run full speed to the edge of a cliff and stop abruptly, hoping to toss off the new kid on my back who has never, ever, been on a horse before. I will never again run through the low part of the barn trying to scrape the new kid off my back who has only once time, ever, been on a horse before. I promise not to find pleasure in trotting home through the corn field trying to get the new kid on my back in trouble when she has only twice, ever, been on a horse before. (The horses were 3 different horses, and the child of course was myself. And after the third one got through laughing I vowed I would never ride another one. And I haven't.)

I will not sulk after being given that horrid tasting wormer.

I will not toss my head and shake it when asked to trot.

I will not totally freak out at the very mention of the trailer.

I will not turn and make faces at my human when he asks me to trot.

Just because my human didn't say hello to me first, doesn't mean I should sulk for the rest of the day.

Kicking the gate to pieces and then being so obnoxious that it takes no less than ten people to corner me and drive me back into the pasture, just because my human hasn't been around for a while is not good. (She did this while I was out of the state, and wouldn't even come for a bucket of grain!)

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