* He'd have brought a fishing pole with him when he walked on water.

* His last words on the cross would have been, "Hey, Paul, I kin see my house from up here."

* He'd be famous for turning water into beer.

* The prayer for the Passover meal would have been, "Good food, good meat, good God, let's eat."

* His front yard would have been littered with broken down mule carts.

* Instead of a grail, King Arthur would been searching for the Holy Beer Mug.

* He would have cured blindness by yelling, "Yer healed" and slapping them on the forehead.

* The disciples would have included Billy Bob, Scooter, and Bubba.

* Sex, drinking, and dancing would clearly have been declared not sinful.

* Instead of a fish, the symbol for Jesus would be a fishing lure.