Twas some weeks before Christmas
and throughout our dwelling
I was heard on the computer; mostly pounding and yelling.
The paper was jammed in the printer with ease,
And I smeared lots of ink when I let out a sneeze.
As I turned off the computer a thought hit my heart,
"Couldn't I just buy cards from our local Wal-Mart?"
Pummeling the machine had made me quite sleepy,
So silently up the steps I began creeping.
I hopped into bed and had just closed my eyes
When I heard quite a bit of disturbance outside.
I looked out the window, and what did I see?
A genuine homemade time traveling machine.
The device was covered with buttons and lights
And it made our yard look like day during night.
I grabbed my coat and ran out the door,
Not knowing what the machine had in store.
I peered inside of it and who'd I observe
But a brainy-looking fellow. Could it be...St. Irv?!?
He said not one word but began to do his work
He pulled down a lever; the door closed with a jerk.
The driver told me we were about to depart
For a time long ago, long, long before Kmart.
I looked on the dashboard and happened to see
We were descending in time, to shortly B.C.
The machine had stopped in a land far from home
Which was part of the great Empire of Rome.
The townsfolk told me that they were to progress
To the town of their fathers to register for census.
I met two of the people, who were about to be married
But the lady, inside her, a baby she carried.
"I was told by an angel," he said with a smile
"My wife's giving birth to a very special child."
I didn't know these people until I met them again
Later that night, with no room at the inn.
They were Mary and Joseph, and Jesus the babe
Was wrapped in some cloths they brought with them that day.
Later some shepherds were told by an angel
They would find their Savior lying in a manger.
The shepherds told all they met the angel's story
As they rushed on to Bethlehem in quite a hurry.
They walked into the stable and what did they behold?
The Babe in a manger, just as they were told.
It was getting to be late around 11(10 central),
So I told St. Irv it was about time to travel.
We got in the machine and I was in awe
Of the things I had seen, the baby and all.
As we landed at home I quietly entered
And I turned around because of something I heard.
It was an angel saying "Glory to God," and
"Peace on earth, good will to men."