Home | You Might Be A Southern Baptist If... | Southern Comments | Attention All Visitors to Texas Here's Tha Rules! | Attention All Visitors to Texas Here's Tha Rules #2! | "Fessin' Up" | Yankee in the Ditch | Funnies!

"Show him 'yer papers…"

Some linemen were busy putting up telephone poles through a farmer's fields. The farmer ordered them off his land, whereupon they showed him a paper giving them the right to plant poles wherever they pleased. Not long afterward a big and vicious bull charged the linemen. The old farmer sat on a nearby fence and yelled, "Show him yer papers, darn ye, show him yer papers!"


"Yankee on Vacation"

A fellow from Boston was in Louisiana visiting family. One day he decided to take a walk around the area where his relatives lived to enjoy their fine, comfortable southern way of life-- something he was not accustomed to, being from the north. While walking he happened upon a pit bull attacking a small child. His instincts took over, and he ran to the child's aid. He grabbed the dog, pulled him from the child, and choked the dog until he was dead. As the dead animal lay at his feet, a man came running over from the other side of the street. He announced that he was the star reporter for a big Louisiana newspaper, and he would make the rescuer famous. "LOUISIANA MAN SAVES CHILD FROM GRUESOME DEATH," the headlines would proclaim. The would-be savior thought that this sounded great, but explained that he was from Boston -- not Louisiana. The next day the headlines of the Louisiana paper read: "YANKEE KILLS FAMILY PET."


Church Etiquette"

Did you hear about the guy from Arkansas that went up north on vacation? Being a regular churchgoer, Sunday morning found him visiting in a nice big church in Maine. His first impression was of how quiet and subdued the service was. At one point during the sermon, the preacher said something the Arkansan really agreed with. "Amen!" agreed the visitor loudly. As the entire church turned to stare, the usher ran up to the Arkansan. "Shhhhhh....." he said sternly. "You can't speak out like that here." "But I've got religion," the visitor explained. "Fine!" said the usher. "But you didn't get it here."


The Devil Made Her Do It

The poor country pastor was livid when he confronted his wife with the receipt for a $250 dress she had bought. "How could you do this!" he exclaimed.

"I don't know," she wailed, "I was standing in the store looking at the dress. Then I found myself trying it on. It was like the Devil was whispering to me, 'Gee, you look great in that dress. You should buy it."

"Well," the pastor persisted, "You know how to deal with him! Why didn't you tell him, 'Get behind me, Satan!' "

"I did," wailed his wife, "but then he said "It looks great from back here, too!"

Bear Hunting Yankees

Two Yankee's came down to Louisiana to go bear hunting. They came upon a fork in the road and a sign that read "BEAR LEFT"; so they went home. Northern Humor

Q. Do Southerners laugh at different things than Northerners do?
A. Yes-- Northerners.


Thanks for stopping by and y'all come back now ya'hear!