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Texas Longhorn Cattle Jokes
What kind of Texas cattle goes, "Beeeeep, beeeeep!" - A longhorn!
What magazine makes Texas longhorns stampede to the newsstand? - Cows-mopolitan!
What newspaper do Texas longhorns read? - The Texas Daily Moos.
What sound do you hear when you drop a big bomb on a Texas longhorn? - Cowboom!
What two members of the Texas longhorn family go everywhere with you? - Your calves!
What would you hear at a Texas longhorn Steer concert? - Texas Moo-sic!
How did the Texas longhorn Cow feel when she couldn't give any milk? - Like an udder failure!
How do Texas bulls drive their cars? - They steer them!
How does a Texas longhorn do math? - With a cowculator!
If a longhorn bull is chasing you, what steps should you take? - The longest ones I could!
If you crossed a Texas longhorn with an insect, what would you get? - A Texas moosquito!
If you had a gun and you were being chased by a Texas longhorn bull and a mountain lion, which one would you shoot first?
- The mountain lion. You can always shoot the bull in Texas!
If you see a whole field of Texas longhorns, what's a fast way to figure out how many cattle there are?
- Count the hooves and divide by four!
Is there big money in the Texas longhorn cattle business? - So I've herd!
What do Texas longhorns get when they are sick? - Hay Fever
What do Texas longhorns like to listen to? - Texas Moo-sic!
What do Texas longhorns read at the breakfast table? - A Texas moospaper!
What do Texas longhorns wear when they're vacationing in Hawaii? - Texas Moo- Moos!
What do you call a Texas longhorn that plays the guitar? - A Texas Moosician!
What do you call a group of Texas longhorn cattle sent into orbit? - The first herd shot round the
world!
What do you call a sleeping steer? - A Texas bull dozer!
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