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'Twas the night before Christmas with Sylvester Stallone

                     Twas the night before Christmas
                           and all tru da house,
                           Nuttin' was stirrin',
                           Not even a fuckin' mouse.
                           Adrian was....talkin',
                           Wearin' her cap.
                           I said, "'ay,
                           Shut yer yap."
                           Gotta move,
                           and I gotta move quick.
                           'Cause tonight I'm gonna blow away
                           Ol' Saint Nick.
                           Last year, I said 'Hey!
                           Bring a new weight set to try!'
                           Instead, he left
                           This polka-dot tie.
                           So as I sit
                           By the nativity scene,
                           I lock and I load
                           My mini-14.
                           What's that? Footsteps?
                           Reindeer, I hear?
                           I'll soon be pumpin' lead
                           Into Santa's big rear.
                           My finger's on the trigger,
                           I'm ready to go
                           At da sound o'dat first
                           He's in my chimney!
                           He starts to slide down!
                           Lemme reach in
                           And let off a few rounds!
                           [POW! POW! POW!]
                           My gun, it did quiver
                           With lead, it did chatter.
                           Across my lawn, reindeer guts
                           I did splatter.
                           Kill Dasher, Kill Dancer,
                           Kill Prancer and Vixen!
                           My barrel's so hot,
                           I'm doin' some schvitzin'.
                           So this Christmastime,
                           You better fend for yourselves.
                           I've blown away Santa,
                           Now it's on to the elves.

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