Rarely washed, never totally clean
Always travels below the speed limit unless on a dirt road
No camper shell or bed liner
Truck bed often contains: bale of hay, baling wire, empty oil cans, cinder blocks, old tire, rusted tools, rope, chain,
and one or more ugly dogs
Truck body carries two or more good-sized dents; very intimidating to small cars, which usually give it a wide berth
Gun rack on rear window containing one or more of the following: shotgun, umbrella, whip, cattle prod, baseball bat, or
cowboy hat
Muffler that rarely muffles anything
Accessories: ball trailer hitch, mud flaps, running boards, running lights, and fuzzy dice on the rearview mirror
Styrofoam cup on the dashboard for spitting tobacco
No carpet on floor (especially when this is the preferred spitting target)
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