1. Save all manner of bacon grease. You will be instructed later how to use it.

2. If you forget a Southerner's name, refer to him (or her) as "Bubba". You have a 75% chance of being right.

3. Just because you can drive on snow and ice does not mean we can. Stay home the two days of the year it snows.

4. If you do run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in the cab of a four wheel drive with a 12-pack of beer and a tow chain will be along shortly. Don't try to help them. Just stay out of their way. This is what they live for.

5. Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store.

6. If it can't be fried in bacon grease, it ain't worth cooking, let alone eating.

7. Remember: "Y'all" is singular. "All y'all" is plural. "All y'all's" is plural possessive.

8. Get used to hearing, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

9. People walk slower here.

10. Don't be worried that you don't understand anyone. They don't understand you either.

11. The first Southern expression to creep into a transplanted Northerner's vocabulary is the adjective "Big ol'", as in "big ol' truck" or "big ol' boy". Eighty-five percent begin their new southern influenced dialect with this expression. One hundred percent are in denial about it.

12. The proper pronunciation you learned in school is no longer proper.

13. Be advised: The "He needed killin'" defense is valid here.

14. If you hear a Southerner exclaim, "Hey, y'all, watch this!" stay out of his way. These are likely the last words he will ever say.

15. Most Southerners do not use turn signals, and they ignore those who do. In fact, if you see a signal blinking on a car with a southern license plate, you may rest assured that it was on when the car was purchased.

16. The winter wardrobe you always brought out in September can wait until November.