Twas the night before christmas and I'm out on my
                                             scoot...
                                             I spot another sled, rode by a fat guy to boot!
                                             
                                             I twist back my throttle, to a maddening pace...
                                             and catch up to the fat guy, now it's a race.
                                             
                                             He's dressed in red and white with a big ol' beard,
                                             must be the time of the year, nothing too wierd.
                                             
                                             We catch a red light, giving me the time to pull along side,
                                             he looks and says "ain't it kinda cold for you to ride?"
                                             
                                             "Not at all, my gift to myself" I reply, enjoying the night,
                                             He then taunts "hows about we race to the next light?"
                                             
                                             I gave him the nod, pull in my clutch and drop into first,
                                             we get the green and I get the jump with an incredible burst.
                                             
                                             I'm pullin' the fat guy, quickly up through my gears,
                                             spooled up to near 80 with a shoot load of tears.
                                             
                                             The light is coming fast, just changing from green to red,
                                             I yank on my binders, dropping gears to stop my sled.
                                             
                                             I think "Man, I whipped his ass, I'm so sly"
                                             maybe this old fat guy wants another try.
                                             
                                             I look over my shoulder, astonished there is no bike in sight,
                                             he couldn't have turned, not a single left nor right.
                                             
                                             Then over my head, I cast my eyes to the sky...
                                             to see the fat guy's scooter *flying* on by!!!!
                                             
                                             I try to speak, yet I can't get out a word,
                                             he's up there laughing, givin' me the bird!
                                             
                                             Well, I burn a ewey to go back home, I've had enough,
                                             gettin' beat by Santa on his flying FLH, life is tough.
                                             
                                             I snap on my rotor lock and put the cover on my sled,
                                             I need some whiskey, a cig, then it's time for bed.
                                             
                                             So here's a wish from me and my girls to all of you,
                                             may at least some of your christmas wishes come true.
                                             
                                             Keep the shiny side up, ride safe and ride long...